floating dollar sign

Lately I feel like I just cant seem to catch up. I want to post so many things that are on my mind, (because it all just keeps adding up)but for what ever reason that I cannot comprehend, life keeps getting bigger. Or is it me? am I getting to slow to handle the many obstacles that keep piling up? I want to simplify and organize my life. I cant stand the clutter that has become my way of life. I like things to be neat and orderly, but every where I look there is another pile of crap that needs taking care of. Every day the house needs its basic cleaning, and that takes a couple of hours. Basics are dishes, laundry, floors and general picking up of toys and school papers and whatever else is lying around. I have to plan for meals, school functions, and cut coupons and make grocery lists. Pay bills when needed and balance the budget. Once that is all done, I have to work on the other pressing needs. Cleaning kidsapos; rooms because for some reason they have no idea how to get off thier butts and do anything. I ask them to clean, I tell them to clean, I get angry because they dont clean. They always find something else to do. Daltyn has made the PS3 his girlfriend, Devyn is always hogging up the PC or the PS2, Jenna has her nose buried in a book (which is fine, but she gets hooked and will read when she is supposed to be sleeping, and an 11 year old needs her sleep) or Jenna is playing gamecube or her DS, or on my mac. Hannah at least goes outside, and she can also be seen on the Wii or her DS or on my computer too.

During the day before the older turd heads get home form school, I have to entertain a two year old who is half demon. Plus I want to find time to do things I enjoy.. Read, write, crochet, sew, video games, movies. I probably get about an hour of free time during the day. One hour to try and regain my sanity.

Once the kids come home, there is fighting and screaming and yelling and all of a sudden all the work I have done throughout the day has been undone. Yay. And then Rich comes home and more chaos ensues. What the hell was I thinking all those years ago when I decided this was the life for me? Now I find myself wanting to hide from the world and all who inhabit it just to try and not lose my mind. My social skills are going into the toilet. I find myself no longer with the patience to be polite to others, my sense of humor getting lost in the commotion that surrounds me. No longer known as Jayme or my inner personality Haruka.... But I am just known as mom or woman. I like being a mom.... But I dont like changing myself to fit everyone else. I dont like losing my personality. I dont want to leave my house lately because I feel so ugly inside and out... And empty in a way. How do I find my personality again? Why does it seem like things are more difficult now than they were a year ago? Why do I feel like such a grown-up? Its good to be grown-up, but I still want to be fun. I dont mean going out and drinking so much I throw up everywhere... Thats just stupid and dangerous. Okay well I ranted enough about my personality loss. Hopefully one day I will get back to life.

~Meow
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chris hoard

�

�

He was hanging the video stills:
eight frames too small and square
to get straight.� I offered advice
until he left in disgust without
telling me the story.

In the first frame, the piano
hangs above the horizon:
you can guess the rest,
except maybe for frames seven,
impact-- the piano should come apart here, but doesnapos;t--
and eight-- it seems to have skipped.

There is no frame nine,
no disappearance beneath
the blurry waves.� I guess
(I can only guess, since he didnapos;t say)
that its absence is chronicle enough
of that.� Perhaps I should have known
better than to kibbitz to a man
who needed-- what?
A cargo plane?
Helicopter?
Trebuchet?-- to
cast his heart into
the sea.

chris hoard, chris hoare, chris hoban run, chris hobbs.

dv digital cameras

Went to my momapos;s for dinner on Wednesday. We were talking to my aunt, and the subject of my lucky pendant came up. My aunt seems pretty damned sure Iapos;ll find it one of these days, and Iapos;d always harbored hope, but something my mom said makes me pretty sure Iapos;ll never see it again.

My mom is rather superstitious, which most times just amuses me (although perhaps thatapos;s hypocritical of me, considering I call the thing my "lucky" pendant). But this time, Iapos;m quite certain sheapos;s right. Losing jewelery is apparently a sign that you will lose something precious in your life. (As if losing the jewelery wasnapos;t bad enough already) And while it didnapos;t happen immediately, within a year or two of losing my pendant (I can never remember when that stupid chain broke), I did lose something very very precious.

I thought that Iapos;d pretty much come to terms with that loss, but now I wonder if my yearning for and even all the dreams of finding my lost pendant was a sign of some much deeper longing. And now Iapos;m fairly certain that Iapos;ll never get either back.

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achiever american black

Man, Iapos;m hoppinapos; mad. Iapos;ve found three transactions in the last two weeks of Sept. That my bank has fucked up. One was an autopay that was denied. One actually posted on my account but the place says they didnapos;t get it. Another was a double charge. So, right now, Iapos;ve got a duplicate $60 charge, a $25 late fee and $55 late/lien processing fees. WTF? I think the dividend credited to my account is wrong, too (in my favor, but Iapos;ll point it out apos;cause itapos;s the honest thing to do).

Iapos;m trying to be calm about it. Iapos;ve banked with this CU for years and havenapos;t had a problem. So much so that I decided to keep them when I moved even though there are no branches here. I can sharebank at any CU, so thatapos;s what Iapos;ve been doing, with no problems.

Iapos;m just very aggravated that I have to call all over the country tomorrow to get this straightened out. But, I will also yank everything out if I have to. I qualify for a local CU here.

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corixa corp

Hello everyone
������ Disregard the title of the entry. Iapos;m just making fun of Bashley. Anywhoo
����� Today was London day�I went with Susan (though we went later than expected cause her alarm didnapos;t go off), met up with her apos;nephewapos; Ben from Australia, went to Covent Gardens (where I bought stuff), Harrods (where I bought MORE�stuff) and the Hard Rock Cafe where I bought more stuff. Sadly only two things were for me. Otherwise theyapos;re all for you people. God, you people suck. Hahah, just kidding.
���� Anyway, then we went to a pub and had a couple drinks (Iapos;ve decided I still really donapos;t like beer), and then headed back
����� Thatapos;s about it really. Love you all, miss you all ~K. Shaw

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amplified sound system

Ok, Korto needs to win tonight. A) Kenleyapos;s collection is...well, itapos;s not good. B) Only one time in Project Runwayapos;s history has a collection composed entirely of the same, muted tones been appropriate and that was when Uli went with all that neutral because she wanted to show the judges that she didnapos;t depend on her vivacious, jewel-tone prints to make her outfits. Season 3. Dude, that was a good season. Anyway, Leanne is not Uli and maybe she should have tried to use the fabrics make her designs. Also, what the hell is with all that petaling?

Sadly even though Kortoapos;s is the best, itapos;s clear that no one felt it was worthwhile to overcome the lacklusterness of this season in general in the final collection. They are all mediocre.

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